This post is a departure for me. It’s an “essay” — I use the term loosely — not a set of lyrics. It’s a review of a book I haven’t finished (I’m just now at the part where Bella finds out Edward is — *spoiler alert* — a vampire; I doubt I’ll ever finish it) and a movie I haven’t seen. It’s choppy, opinionated, profane, pissed-off and personal, as opposed to…I guess, “objective reviews.” But hey, it’s that kind of night, and I want to get something off my chest I talked about with Carson last night.
I really hate Twilight.
I think it’s pretty nearly accurate to say that the Twilight series (is that what it’s properly called?) is currently the biggest entertainment powerhouse in America. The movie that opened yesterday (I think) will probably gross hundreds of millions of dollars this weekend alone. The books have sold twenty million copies in the states. I haven’t boarded an airplane in three months without seeing someone carrying one of the books. And that’s like four airplanes. So yeah. In case you’ve been living under a very large rock, this proves it: Twilight is huge.
It’s also a piss-poor book, from what I’ve seen. The characters, outside of the two you’ve heard of and maybe two or three others, are all totally disposable. The narrator dismisses them offhand and attributes to them a range of emotions and behavior patterns that doesn’t quite measure up to the mature autonomy of most cattle. Her friends and parents are all total wastes of type. (more…)
