Happy birthday, part II.

‘Cause I need something solid I can hold,
Like a dog that comes when I call…
Like a brick I can throw against a wall…

And I don’t need you.
No, I don’t need you…

- Jimmy Eat World, “Yer Feet”

Happy birthday.

So happy Valentine’s day.
I hope the sun’s out in New York.
I hope he bought you roses…
I hope he bought you roses.

- Alkaline Trio, “Enjoy Your Day”

Hyperbole.

I just finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was beautiful. (And not just because of Kirsten Dunst, although that helps.) At the end, the two meet again and realize that they know what will happen. They know all the things they will come to feel toward one another. They know they’re star-crossed, because it’s already happened. But what does it matter? It’s what they want, what they need. They live it over again.

I agree with that philosophy. I believe the process justifies the end. If the interim period is bliss, then it was worth it even if it all burns away in the end. We do what we need. It’s life, and it makes getting through better. And there are the memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world…I can think of far too many of them right now. The end not being some stereotypical “success” doesn’t scare me.

What scares me is that in the movie, there’s always another chance. And in life, the cycle runs out.

Why I Hate Twilight

This post is a departure for me. It’s an “essay” — I use the term loosely — not a set of lyrics. It’s a review of a book I haven’t finished (I’m just now at the part where Bella finds out Edward is — *spoiler alert* — a vampire; I doubt I’ll ever finish it) and a movie I haven’t seen. It’s choppy, opinionated, profane, pissed-off and personal, as opposed to…I guess, “objective reviews.” But hey, it’s that kind of night, and I want to get something off my chest I talked about with Carson last night.

I really hate Twilight.

I think it’s pretty nearly accurate to say that the Twilight series (is that what it’s properly called?) is currently the biggest entertainment powerhouse in America. The movie that opened yesterday (I think) will probably gross hundreds of millions of dollars this weekend alone. The books have sold twenty million copies in the states. I haven’t boarded an airplane in three months without seeing someone carrying one of the books. And that’s like four airplanes. So yeah. In case you’ve been living under a very large rock, this proves it: Twilight is huge.

It’s also a piss-poor book, from what I’ve seen. The characters, outside of the two you’ve heard of and maybe two or three others, are all totally disposable. The narrator dismisses them offhand and attributes to them a range of emotions and behavior patterns that doesn’t quite measure up to the mature autonomy of most cattle. Her friends and parents are all total wastes of type.

Even at my best, I guess I’m still just one of them.

A couple things about my life.

1. I’m pretty sure Jimmy Eat World is now my favorite band. Alkaline Trio, I’ll still love you forever.

2. I think I sprained/tore/damaged something in my elbow.

3. My schedule for spring semester tentatively looks something like this:

M/W/F:
Environmental Science – 9:15-10:20
Chapel – 10:30-11:20
Elementary Greek II – 11:30-12:35
Lunch
Either Historical Theology or History of Philosophy II – 2:00-3:05
Planetary Astronomy (B Quad) – 3:15-4:20

T/R:
Sleep In – A long time.
Lunch – 12:30ish
Philosophy of Religion – 1:15-3:05

4. Finally, I think it’s ridiculous that Condoleeza Rice is being considered for the position of San Francisco 49ers team president. It would be a marriage of the totally bat-crap insane.

Agh. My week just went to hell.

So I’m working on Greek homework, by which I mean that I’m putting it off. And after screwing around on Audible.com a bit, I remember that I have the quizzing questions due in about ten days with more chapters than that to do. Crap. And I can’t start work right now because of Greek, and I need to self-teach the basics of calculus in the next eighteen hours. Not good.

So I realize that in the next week I have a few Greek HWs, twice as many Greek tests, a philosophy exam, a debate tourney, a debate brief, worship on Thursday, Tae Kwon Do issues, a GCC presentation, a GCC final paper, and an A&D brief.

The brief I have to respond to is a piece of drivel the likes of which I hoped to never see, written by someone who should have known better.

I’m just going to waste tonight.

I’ll see you in my dreams tonight, ’cause I’m doing all I can…

I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my [old life].
Everybody leaves and I’d expect as much from you.
I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life.
Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn’t you?
- The Gaslight Anthem, “Great Expectations”

It’s hard to be appalled with my life. I get to spend my time becoming the person I want to be. That’s all. Some of the brightest, hardest-working people in the nation are earning their paychecks telling me anything I want to know, and I’m taking advantage of this system without complaint. I get to travel around the country with a group of awesome people merely to argue about current events. Attractive blonde twins spend their Monday and Thursday evenings teaching me and a few others how to more effectively kick n00bz in the face. It’s hard to be dissatisfied with this. But I manage.